Zombie Chickens.
A page that sells the game and hides the deal.

Lexo’s noteFix

A good opening, and all of it is a picture.

The art, the pitch and the 1–4 players / ages 9+ / 35 min badges are clear and fun. They are also all inside images, so they can’t be searched, translated or read aloud, and on a phone the badges are small.

Keep the art. Put one line of real text under it that says what the game is, who it’s for and what it costs.

Lexo’s noteFix

A quarter of the story teaches the rules before it shows a price.

From here to “How it ends”, about 23% of the story, the page teaches the game: day, night, an example round, events. Then come the zombies and the defenses. The first price in the story is 60% of the way down.

On desktop the reward column sits beside the story. On a phone it doesn’t, and a backer who wants to know what’s in the box and what it costs scrolls past all of this first. Move “What’s included” and a short pledge summary up, straight after the opening, and let the rules follow, with the video and the instruction PDFs for the detail.

Lexo’s noteFix

The pledge most backers chose, with a typo on a card.

225 of 380 backers chose the $30 tier, which adds this Kickstarter-only expansion. It is the strongest reason on the page to back now rather than wait for retail, and it starts more than halfway down.

The new defense card shown here reads “GRENDADE”. Worth checking whether that reached print.

Lexo’s noteFix

Every saving rests on a $30 price the game no longer has.

The reward cards measure each saving against a $30 MSRP: “33% off” on $20, the same game at $20 plus the $10 expansion on $30, and “Save $55 off MSRP” on $77. The sums work on those terms.

But the game now sells for $19.99 at retail, so a backer comparing today sees no saving at all. And the add-ons on this same page price the Ultimate’s contents at $92, so anyone adding it up sees $15 off, not $55. Show the saving a backer can check on the page, and lean on what is exclusive: the first edition and the expansion.

Lexo’s noteFix

A clear table, where shipping costs more than the game.

The table is clear and covers the main countries. But outside the US every listed rate is more than the $20 game (UK $29, Australia $37), and it sits several screens below the first price. Backers raised it in the comments while the campaign was live.

The reward cards also say “Ships to: anywhere in the world”, while this section lists nine countries it can’t ship to. Put the landed total beside each tier, for example “$20 + about $29 to the UK”, and set the shipping countries to match this list.

Lexo’s noteFix

Four names and four jokes, and no track record, though they have one.

For a first-time Kickstarter creator, the strongest reassurance is “we have made and shipped games before”. Sweet Bros had: earlier games are in the Ultimate tier, and the creator says so in a reply in the comments. The team section never does.

Say it here in one line. Small one: “entusiasts” should be “enthusiasts”.

Lexo’s noteFix

Reads like terms and conditions, with the good part last.

Before any risk is named, the section covers design changes, shipping costs, and what happens to backers who don’t confirm or aren’t home. “We consider our obligations fulfilled” is the sentence a nervous backer remembers.

The reassuring part, a trusted manufacturer with on-site quality checks and an experienced logistics team, comes last. Lead with it, say how far production already is, and name the November date.